Celebrity Weasel

Paris Hilton can not stop making news and posing for photographers during her trip to Sydney. Paris has been down under for the past week, ramping up for a New Years Eve hosting gig. While there, she has already been spotted a number of times running around half naked with gal pal Kim Kardashian. We have all seen Paris completely naked enough by this time, so who cares about that. The newest, more exciting story is Paris Hilton, the philanthropist.

Behold Paris, photo op’n last night at the Royal North Shore Children’s Hospital in Sydney.

And, some weak attempts at looking sincere…

Sultry model and once actress Lisa Marie filed a complaint today in Los Angeles Superior Court today, accusing her former mate, and my film making hero, Tim Burton, of fraud and breach of contract.

Now: Lisa Marie With The Look of Greed

Lisa Marie alleges that Tim conned her out of equitable division of their assets when the un-married couple split after almost ten years together. The pair got serious right away, moving in together a year after meeting. Tim Burton put Lisa Marie in a ton of his movies, and referred to her as his muse. Burton allegedly agreed to “share equally any and all property accumulated” with the beauty. He also allegedly agreed to provide financial support for Lisa Marie for the rest of her life.

Then: Lisa Marie With The Look of Love

The weirdness only starts there. After getting dumped hardcore during the shooting of Planet of the Apes, Lisa Marie’s financial advisors were allegedly in bed with Burton, telling Lisa Marie to take what she could get from Tim, rather than fight for what was originally agreed upon. Tim Burton dumped Lisa Marie to start up a relationship with Helena Bonham Carter. What a horrible move. Helena Bonham Carter is gross. Lisa Marie is freaking gorgeous, even now pushing forty.

In the past few years, Lisa Marie has been fueling the fire constantly. In 2005 she held a warehouse sale in which she sold some of Tim Burton’s personal movie memorabilia.

As much as I adore Tim Burton, it sounds like he might have been trying to pull some eff’d up moves on Lisa Marie. I loved Lisa Marie in every Burton film. I hope she’s not a complete wack job, I really want to see her work again.

I don’t really think Eva Longoria does anything interesting or noteworthy, but I had to post these adorable photos. Eva being shown up by this cute little pooch at Harrods, London last night.

The officer who supposedly leaked the disheartening details of my former favorite actors DUI arrest is claiming he has become the victim of harassment and mental abuse.

James Mee is the LA county sheriff who witnessed Mel’s temper tantrum first hand. The sheriff’s department told reporters that the arrest went down “without incident”, but the police report told a different story. The sheriff’s department planned on keeping the details of the Jew hater fest under wraps. James Mee is probably the guy who leaked the report to places like TMZ. Though it’s not proven, everyone believes James Mee did it, and he has now become the victim of harassment, and claims he is being unfairly targeted by his superiors.

Mee’s attorney told the LA Times today that “His life and career would be a lot different had he not made that arrest,”

James Mee needs to stop complaining about being bitched at around the office, and start going on television talk shows.

Paris Hilton was seen at the Sydney airport yesterday. She’s looking a bit, deep fried. Pale is sexy, browned to a crisp could be malignant.

Well, all you guys that I have never, ever agreed with, can rejoice; “sexy” Sandra Oh is divorced.

Sandra Oh’s marriage to Sideways writer and director Alexander Payne was terminated on December 22. Though the divorce is not complete, they are free to marry other people at this point.

I have never understood the Sandra Oh phenomenon. I like her acting, but find her quite ugly. Apparently, many men furiously masturbate to her images though. Creepy.

US Weekly Online is reporting today that Britney Spears has been hitting the party drinks so hard, that she spent a good portion of the other night puking her brains out.

At Hollywood lounge, Les Deux, Britney would not stop requesting her own songs.
After the DJ finally complied, only to follow up the song with a Justin Timberlake ditty, Britney was ready forget about the whole mess. She proceeded to leave all the nights digested alcohol on the bathroom floor soon after. She’s still sexy.

Last night a little Lohan named Ali was at Planet Hollywood celebrating her 13th birthday, and promoting her Christmas CD.

Not a bad looking kid. No one really gives a crap about Christmas albums, so I hope she is not counting on making it big with that. She obviously has a lot of potential as a major player in the party scene. Let’s hope 2007 will be her year. We need some fresh faces.

Tara Conner did not get stripped of her title today, but I really hope she fades into the sunset now. Beautiful body, and stunning face, but that voice is aweful. Maybe it’s just me being a California jerk, but I hate her southern drawl. I never want to hear that clip of her talking about how she thinks celebrities are getting “a little bit too much edgy” ever again.

Aaron Carter and his twin sister, Angel, celebrated their 19th birthdays this past Friday.

Aaron is telling People magazine today that he is in love. After breaking off his week long engagement to former Playboy Playmate Kari Ann Peniche, Aaron is positive he found his life long parter this past Friday in the form of 18-year-old singer Kaci Brown.

“Now I’m in a great relationship. I’ve only known her for, like, seven days, but I have a connection with her that’s like nothing else I’ve ever experienced,”

Adorable. I know this vomit worthy BS from these two little kids is all publicity for Aaron’s television show, “House of Carters”, but Jesus, can’t they do it with a little bit of dignity. Just get wasted and have your stomach pumped like every other talentless piece of crap looking for attention.

I hope Aaron lets himself be photographed crying next week when he and this ugly broad break up.

Totally whore like, or just mildly inappropriate?

The internet has been freaking out over the photo of Britney Spears wearing this number to her mother’s birthday this past Friday.

While this dress might not be something you wear to thank your mother for all the hard work she has done, I really don’t think it’s all that bad. Britney has gotten back into shape, and she doesn’t mind showing it off. Hey, black lace is hot. I think she looks great. Maybe she could had worn a better bra with it?

Justin and Cameron heading to the Saturday Night Live after party this past weekend. She still needs to gain a few pounds, but this dark hair continues to look great on Cameron.

Seriously, I wouldn’t be looking at Fantasia either. In fact, I try to avoid looking at Fantasia at all times. I’m glad she is having a good time rocking out by herself. She will be doing a lot of that soon, since no one is going to buy her album.

JoJo is such a cute little chubby brithday girl. By cute, I of course, mean disgusting.

I love this photo of Brit from last nights Smashbox Cosmetics holiday bash. So close. How titilating.