Celebrity Weasel

Now, for the embarassing messes, and most annoying people on the red carpet.

Yes, please hide your face anyway you can Marc. Annoying!

Is this a dress, or PJs? Mess!

Really old and embarassing people on TV. Unlike Dick Clark being on TV at new years eve still, people never liked Joan Rivers. Stop! Annoying!

This one really breaks my heart. I just can’t stand this dress. Mess!

You all know she really wanted to wear little boy underwear to the show so she could shake her ass all over kingdom come. Annoying!

No explanation needed. Annoying!

A few of the best looks from the awards red carpet.

Apparently, the Film Independent’s Spirit Awards are a place where you can drop the S bomb on basic cable. Sounds like something I want to be a part of. Young and hot Hollywood showed up for the event on Saturday.

…oh, cept for these two. Ricki Lake and John Waters? How the hell did Ricki Lake get in!? Talk about not relevant anymore. Though, I must say, she’s looking quite slim these days.

I knew there was a reason I did not post this news when it first came out yesterday. Was it my ability to peer into the future, or me just being bogged down with my crappy day job?

In any event, Britney has bounced out of rehab after only a day, again. Before the head shaving, she tried it for a day, and didn’t think it was her cup of tea. Now bald, she figured she would give it another whirl. The location of this round two rehab stint was debated. Reports now surfacing are saying it was the Promises Malibu Treatment Center. Early this morning, Britney called a car service and left. Only one day in the bag, instead of the suggested 45.

What goes on in these rehab places anyway? It seems like a nice and cheery place in the TV commercials. How come Brit can’t even stay for a freaking week?

Positive folks said that Britney shaved her head as a symbolic gesture of a new birth; a new beginning. Cynics say she will be dead by years end. Morbid? Absolutely, but what else are we to think? Every move to get out of the spotlight she hates so much pulls her further toward. We are witnessing a demented psycho in the making.

Photographers from x17 and others spotted Britney Spears last night at The Roxy sporting a cute little blonde wig. I was really hoping Britney was going to exhibit some kind of confidence or intelligence through this whole head shaving episode, but I suppose Britney is truly lost.

She’s desperate for a normal life. She wants to be white trash, leave her children home every night while she gets wasted, and not have the entire world following her around, taking photos of her. Every move is a desperate, unintelligent, act of frustration that leads her no where except farther into the hole.

Oh christ, enough with this pycho babble…Britney is pissed she shaved her head! She’s wearing a wig! Stupid bitch shaved her head and only days later she hates it! Don’t you love it?

Paris Hilton turned 26 this past Saturday. The droves of fans that seem to be out for the sole purpose of worshipping the ugly heiress are actually at The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas for the NBA All Star bash. That didn’t stop this boney little piece of S from dancing on stage and shaking what she doesn’t have for the crowd.

I keep such a watchful eye on celebrity news that things rarely shock me anymore. This one floored me though. People dying happens everyday, but women shaving their heads? Now that is news.

Not much is known yet about why Britney Spears shaved her head. The only thing we have to work with at this point is that she told a KABC news reporter that she was quote “tired of people touching her”.

Leave it to Britney to screw up once again. People love rubbing shaved heads! They are so soft and fuzzy! I know I’m crazy, but I think she looks hot with a shaved head.

Katherine McPhee goes from cute to kinky at today’s Gillette Fusion Power Phantom launch party. Get ready to get turned on.

Hey blondie, how’s the view?

Nipple twist! Uh oh!

These dudes definetly want each other.

Great ass!

Disgustingly…disgusting Travis Barker, and Shanna Moakler may be back together.

They were spotted together at PURE nightclub in Vegas for a Valentine’s bash. Apparently, they were all over each other. Insiders told Perez Hilton that the two are a couple again, despite their past war of words via Myspace blogs.

What’s the deal with Travis Barker doing everything he can to look like a total piece of crap? Is it really that fun to wear torn up t shirts everywhere you go? I don’t think Shanna Moakler is all that great either, but damn, that thigh is really turning me on.

Beyonce is on the cover the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. I love Beyonce because she always has the wackiest poses for photographs. She loves showing everyone how great she is at shaving her armpits. Who doesn’t love a lady who has sexy smooth armpits?

There was no arm pit posturing at the Swimsuit issue party unfortunatly, but Beyonce continues to look way too fabulous.

Shake that ass!

Investigators said today that there were no pills found in Anna Nicole Smith’s body, though there were prescription drugs in her hotel room. Officials are still not excluding the contribution of substances in the cause of death, but say more tests are needed. It may be weeks until we have a final answer on the death of Anna.

Interesting and aggravating things are floating about in regards to Anna Nicole Smith today. Some say she is this generations Marilyn Monroe. Not even close.

Sure there are parallels, but Anna Nicole Smith is nothing like Marilyn Monroe. Yes, both were emotionally unbalanced, sought relief in drugs, and were blonde. This is where the similarities end. Whether you think her films are extraordinary or not, you can not deny Monroe was an icon, adored by millions. Anna Nicole Smith was known by millions as well, but as an entertaining train wreck. She was the butt of every joke, and the bimbo everyone loved to laugh at. It may sound insensitive, but in death, we can not make Anna Nicole Smith something she was not. I was absolutely an Anna fan. She was the kind of person that evoked an emotional opinion out of anyone. Regardless of what that opinion was, if you love being a celebrity, you have done something right if you have this power.

In this sense, Anna Nicole Smith was an amazing success story. Marilyn Monroe, she is not though.

The shocking news of Anna Nicole Smith’s sudden death is hitting America hard. I know she has been a crazy case for a number of years, but after going through so much, we all thought she was invincible. Old men and surgeries, insane weight loss and emotional turmoil, she’s been through it all.

Please don’t think I am insensitive for what I am about to do. Anna Nicole Smith was my favorite reality TV star of all time. After my associates and I began buzzing over the news this afternoon, a number of issues were brought up.

They include:

-Anna overdosed on drugs. Her son who died recently got the drugs from his mother, not Howard K. Stern, as has been recently argued.
-Anna is faking her death. As was put so eloquently by an associate of mine; “She’s already half plastic, they just created another plastic Anna to act as her dead body!�

For all of America’s sake, I hope my insane friend is correct. I think he’s just insane though. Autopsy reports come out tomorrow.

Kim Kardashian is looking a little surprised. The Kim K. sex tape you may have heard about, exists, and it will be seeing the light of day very soon.

Kim is the sometimes party partner of Paris Hilton. A while ago, rumors started spreading that Kim and Ray J, brother of singer Brandy, had made a sex video together. Well, the tape is now going to be released by porn giant Vivid Entertainment, in stores on February 28. From what I understand, the tape contains at least thirty minutes of hardcore action, and a little water sports thrown in for good measure.

Vivid says they reached an agreement with the parties involved, yet Kardashian told TMZ that “she was blindsided by the sale of the tape.� I know it has happened many times before, but it’s still shocking to me when someone’s personal, hardcore sex video is put on sale without their consent. If the law allows this tape to come out without Kim’s approval, shouldn’t she at least be demanding ass loads of money at this point from the “parties involved�?

Oh man…water sports? Wow. Are you stoked on, or petrified of this tape?

Jessica Simpson tells the March issue of Elle magazine that she was crushed when she learned after just a few weeks of being single, Nick Lacey was dating MTV’s Vanessa Minillo.

She goes on to talk about how she got the idea to dump Nick after watching a movie on a plane ride home to Texas. The movie? That chick flick every girl couldn’t stop crowing about a few years ago, The Notebook. All this heartbreak and crushed souls didn’t stop Jessica from getting together with John Mayer though.

Jessica got married at 22, a stupid idea. Jessica and Nick toughed it out for three years, a lot longer than I thought they would last. She dumps him after getting inspired by The Notebook, then is upset when he starts dating Vanessa Minillo. Minillo is just another super young, brain dead, yet great looking chick. For Jessica, this is not even important enough to mention in passing. Besides, I think Jessica Simpson and John Mayer make a cuter couple than she ever did with Nick Lachey.

I’m loving these photos of Miss USA Tara Conner on the Today show this morning. Tara looks great. How wholesome and adorable she is, now that she’s out of rehab.

The cute little country bumpkin admitted to doing coke before and after she was crowned. She also suggested that abuse during childhood may have led to her behavior. Whatever, coke it up, just don’t change that new haircut. It’s adorable!